Sometimes I feel lifeless.

Nicole is back, she meant back from hospital.

Want to know what happened on me? I just can say it is a ' DUA DAI JI ' ( big problem ).

My face looked so chan, because 4 days never bath. I know it was busuk. 

My hands full with pinholes now. It is pain, everyday different treatments, different level of pain. I know it is serious. I cried at hospital every night, even now.

I'm so tired, I need a shoulder now. I have no confident and energy to face the disease. No more badminton, no more swimming, no more exercises!!! 

I'm so worry that there is no tomorrow for me. Who is by my side now? No one. 

Sorry, I quit. I really not afford to do these much of things anymore. It is not temporary, but permanent. Pls understand me, pls understand what I really want now. 

Rest is for further more, but I have no time for rest. I just want to do more things which I like and love. If you want to be more happy, pls give me what I want. I will really appreciate. 

I must keep walking to make all the dreams come true. I really don't want like the late him. You know what I mean.

Sometimes, it is really lifeless.

Goodnight