Thank you

Happy or not happy? I also don't know. I'm just like going to crazy. I can't even differentiate whether it is happy or sad.

I'm going to leave my lovely hometown, everyone supports me, but i'm the one who only keep thinking whether should I stay back or what.

Today I asked dear: " Will you miss me when i'm not around?". " Yes, sure I will," dear said. And " I will feel that someone is not around me anymore." dear said again. My tears dropped again. I was so happy in that moment. This is the first time dear told me about those sweet things.

We went to cut hair today. On the way, we kept talking about this topic (about i'm leaving). My eyes full with tears many times. I just never show, but I know dear knew it.

I'm happy because dear told me something sweet which he never said to me before; I'm sad because of i'm going to leave here and my lovely dear soon.

Dear never gives me any confident or say something to make me feel better, i'm feel so unsafe. He just always smile with me no matter what, but I really can't read his mind, I don't know what he is really thinking about.

Am I so selfish to choose what I want for my future and left him alone here? I know it is a stupid question. I know.

I wish dear can tell me everything, everything that inside his deepest heart. At least I will feel better... At least I can do something for him...

I realized that my life will be stopped without him, he is a part of my life. I don't want the long distance relationship to be spoilt. I wish it can last longer and longer...


I love you so much my dear... Thanks for everything... You always in my deepest heart... Love you. Muacks... I hope you love me and care me much much too. I hope you tell me how much you love and care me tooooo. XD

I'm crying, my tears keep dropping, don't why...


Special for dear...Miss you.

Bb