Twenty Ten

Nicole is back!!! Back to my bloggy.

Just came back from my best friend's wedding, so tired... Actually it started since last night, boh-eng whole night seriously. I need a break.

Going for New Year Celebration 2010 later, liquor still, but I don't think you guys will see me at any clubs later. Countdown at home. 

Twenty Ten (2010), I know it is not really the best year, but i'm waiting for it's coming. Will update my blog soon. 

Rest now, crazy later.

Off

Nicole needs to off for few days.

Will update the blog as soon as possible.

Hope everything will be okay.

Anything just leave her messages, Sorry for anyone who can't reach her.

God bless.

People are selfish

Chest pain, it comes so frequent these few days. But, what makes me pain the most is there is no one really listening to me. Even there are someone really listening, but their mind are fulled with blaming...

I don't mind about chest pain, what i mind is care. I admit that i'm in bad mood now, and my chest pain seriously, feel like fainted anytime.

I'm wondering that why people are so selfish? I hardly mention about my sick recently, but people treat it as i'm recovering. Anyhow, I already done what am I supposed to do, I will leave soon. When i'm not here, I hope that there is no one will remember me.

People are selfish, when they need you, they will do anything for you, to fulfill you, because they need your helps; but when they no need you, they will not even find you or call you. 

When you need them, who cares? They are just pretending and lying you all the time.

'PEOPLE', don't wait until can't find someone when he/she is not here anymore, when he/she is left only realized about importance, let me tell you, it is too late...

Goodnight

*06-12-2009*

I went to KDU again today, together with dear. I know, it is not important. Btw, today KDU's library is closed, wtf. And I wait him at Canteen. lol...

Today, I have my another off day again. So I decided to head to Penang early in the morning with dear. Happy... Although I have to wake up early in the morning.

I had really enjoyed my holiday yesterday. I went to Kek Lok Si with Irene, Soon Hua and dear. Head to have breakfast, dim sum at BM. Then moved faster to Kek Lok Si after it, because we were late!!!

When we reached there, there was 9 something in the morning, but we suddenly saw the banners which wrote the celebration will be started at 8 am. OMG!!! We were really late!!! And, we can't get any parking there. But, luckily the weather is so good, so that my mood is good also.

There were so jammmm!!! Playing around in the car. 

This was the first photo that we took that day. At that moment, everyone was looking at us, 4 crazy Penang Kia playing around.

After that, we headed to Kuan Yin statue by cable car.

Seriously, the cable car is better than Penang Hill's cable car, a lot a lot, at least got air-con.

Me and Irene bought Carnations.

Kek Lok Si trip end, the next destination is Surname Bridge.

While I walked to the Surname Bridge, dear took this photo. Don't laugh pls, I also don't know what I did.

I will not talk so much about Surname Bridge, because I had posted it before. Then we went to PC fair after it. 

" When you are too addicted to PC fair, then you will become like this" said dear.

PC fair? Actually there were no cheap PC at PC fair compared to the retail shops, just they gave a lot of free gifts. So, don't be cheated by those sellers. You might spend more at there.

I was so happy yesterday, because I spent my day with them. I wish there still got chances for our next trip. I really appreciate the time.


There are still a lot of photos, I will upload it in facebook soon.

I really feel happy when I together with him, I really enjoy my time. I hope he appreciate too, because he knows what am I meant. Lastly, I wish there will be some miracle happened. I do pray everyday, every moment. 

p/s: Dear, remember what you have promised me!!! XD

Love

"Pipo, pipo, pipo..."

I'm off today... Supposed to be happy, but how I know that I have to get in to the GMC again for treatment. OMG!!!

Today is a bad day, so many accidents on the roads, so many weird things happened. Penang bridge was fucking jam for nothing, the highway also full with police blocking, just now on the way back home, I saw so many accidents. Damn sad.

And, just now went for dinner with dear, same case, on the way home, I saw an ambulance,"Pipo, pipo, pipo..." Another accident happened again. Today, at GMC, on the road, I just heard "pipo, pipo, pipo..." That's all.

Anyway, I hope tomorrow will be a good day, because i'm going to enjoy my only 1 day of holiday. So scare to hear this kind of sound. 

I should feel lucky and happy, because I get more time compare with them, at least I still got 1 more year to go.

Enjoy the left time, this is what can I do.

p/s: Today is bad day!!!

Should I go or not?

December is reached, the weather is different, cold and keep raining this few days. Btw, Sunway Carnival Mall is snowing everyday. Hahaha... I can feel that the Christmas is coming.

I'm wondering this year, don't know whether I got chance to celebrate Christmas or not, my sick is so annoying. 

What can I do in 5 years time? Or maybe 1 year? Too short for me. I'm thinking everyday. I hope there are some solutions for me. 

I just want to do something which I like. Italy, I don't think it is a suitable choice for me. But everyone wants me to go, why? 

Tell me please, should I go or not? 50:50, thinking going or not. Everything will be changed if I going. Actually few days ago I already decided that i'm not going, but... something happened, they want me to re-consider again. 

This morning, should be mid-night, I felll down from the stair again, and I have been sent to hospital quickly. Doctor had been warning me that I can't fall down again, but who knows what will happen on next?

Doctor said a lot of things to me, and I know my time is getting lesser, it is really serious, I saw purple, nose bleeding... I know there are so many things I might not do it on time. However, I got my reasons, the reality forces me to do so.

And I know the Italy's weather is less than 5'c, damn cold!!! 

I choose to stay back, because of my dear. I wish to see him everyday while I still can, but something made me so disappointed. And if I going to Italy, who will accompany him all the while. When I choose to go KL for my studies, it was really a wrong decision. I don't want to repeat the selfish mistake again. 

Even I stay back, it is not for my health, but it is for dear. I just want to use my left time to accompany him, at least do something for him. Maybe there will be some miracle happen, but at least I try to do all the things which I like now. No more regret.

I wish he can hear me. I just want to do something for him. This is the only thing which I can do for him.

Tell me, should I go or not?

Is time to off. Although i'm sitting in the mall with doing nth.


Pray.

Another Nicole

I supposed to help my dad sunway today, but I was fainted on the way while working.

And, 3rd time for GMC. WTH!!!

This Nicole, no more!!!

This one, No more also!!!

This Nicole will do. Cry heavily every night. With messy hair and ugly face.

I wish to have some outing, like last time. Long time never enjoy the days. I need some fresh air.

Pain in my disease, as I said, i'm tired. And I know that it is getting serious day by day. Maybe my outlook will be like nothing, because i'm pretending all the time, to be more better and okay in front of you all. 

Seriously, Nicole is not okay at all. Nose bleeding, fainted, breathlessly. And alot of serious things, sorry dear, I didn't tell you, and I can't tell you. 


I wish to call ' DEAR ' loudly, can you hear me? I'm paining, suffering, do you know it? Sorry for my selfishness, I just want to spend more days with you. There are not so less thing that you should know, but you know I have not much time. Can you hear me? I'm crying heavily, do you know it?

I wish... to get a happy day, even really just the only day. 

I really have not much time.

Goodnight.

Sometimes I feel lifeless.

Nicole is back, she meant back from hospital.

Want to know what happened on me? I just can say it is a ' DUA DAI JI ' ( big problem ).

My face looked so chan, because 4 days never bath. I know it was busuk. 

My hands full with pinholes now. It is pain, everyday different treatments, different level of pain. I know it is serious. I cried at hospital every night, even now.

I'm so tired, I need a shoulder now. I have no confident and energy to face the disease. No more badminton, no more swimming, no more exercises!!! 

I'm so worry that there is no tomorrow for me. Who is by my side now? No one. 

Sorry, I quit. I really not afford to do these much of things anymore. It is not temporary, but permanent. Pls understand me, pls understand what I really want now. 

Rest is for further more, but I have no time for rest. I just want to do more things which I like and love. If you want to be more happy, pls give me what I want. I will really appreciate. 

I must keep walking to make all the dreams come true. I really don't want like the late him. You know what I mean.

Sometimes, it is really lifeless.

Goodnight

Goodbye

Thank you for concerns, but I will not update my blog temporary.

Because Nicole is hospitalized, with serious disease.

Goodbye everyone.

God bless you.

Goodluck everyone.

Love.

Smile or cry?

I was going to watch 2012 with dear yesterday. Honestly, the movie was really disappointed me. But, at least I can know how am I going to die in year 2012. It is really scary.

And, finally, I get my birthday cake for year 2009. Although it is late, but at least dear didn't break promise at last. 

A white forest.

A birthday had been sang again, I know it is touching.

Look at his face!!!

This photo will be better.

Btw, while I was so happy last night, I also get another pain, although it was happened in a few days before, and dear help me to enswathe my scalded wound.

And it looks so serious. Hahaha...

***********************************************************************************

This morning, I supposed to go and see doctor for medical check up. When I woke up, I was still in the happiness but everything is cancelled at last. Even my lunch.

And, I fell down from upstair while I was so dizzy just now attached with my chest pain hardly. What to do now? I really very angry right now, crying for my pain. But, who knows? Just wondering about why i'm facing so much of pain? And why the promises will not keep going on?

I hate argument, that's why I choose to quit, I rather sit at home with nothing. Maybe there is no lies, but it hurts me deeply again. 

Pizzaria Hard Rock Penang

I was thinking about what should I do on my Sunday. Finally, my dad gave me a 'kangtao'. He made a reservation at Hard Rock Hotel for dinner, but he missed it, ask me go and eat with dear. 

Wohoo..., that was a good idea. Actually so many things happen these few days, I really sad enough, keep crying, but who can understand my feeling? No matter what I do, I still can't change the consequences. 

I really feel bad enough, but no one is going to listen, and treat me something like enemy. What to do then? I just want to back to last time, the happy daysss...

Okay, okay, stop talking about the sadness. I went to dinner at Hard Rock Pizzaria with dear. Sunday night, this is what we can do. But dear seems like still got alot of assignment, not enjoy the food. Aih... don't know, maybe I think too much already.

The BBQ Buffet cost RM 55++ per person, the food is considered not bad, but damn it, rainning while we were eating in the half way. Nevermind, it was liked not really affect us.

We keep on enjoying the food.

This are some of our food, because of toooo full, then we give up for other delicious food. Let's talk about the environment, is it quite nice, seaside, with wind blowing, and some soft music, it is good for dinner as well.

We were enjoying our dinner, and kept taking photos as we always do it. 

Dear sien until almost eat the candle, wtf... so pity. T.T

Btw, before we left Hard Rock Hotel, we met 2 Germans. They are so nice and friendly. When we were taking dinner, both of them keep smilling on us, because me and dear were doing some stupid stuffs, maybe it made them feel funny. hahaha...

We went and say goodbye to them, since they are so nice. However, we have a talk for almost 15 mins, and seriously they are really nice. Wohoho... I got 2 more Germany's friends. Hahah...

We took photos and exchange the e-mail address, hope to keep in touch as well.

Tom, ShunJie(dear), Nicole(me), Martin

Martin is so so tall, and i'm the shortest one. Swt...

Anyway, it was a nice dinner. The service is nice, the food is nice also, especially the sausage, because dear love it, maybe he love it more than me. T.T

Is time to bed, goodnight.

I hope everything will be okay in the coming next morning.

God bless...