Up and Down

Is time to start my emo post again, i just can say, sorry, I really so emo today.

My mood never change into better since the day that I came back from Penang. Yea, you are right, I miss my dear. And I feel pressure enough at Subang. A lot of assignments are waiting for me, all are individual work, wtf!!! 

I'm just like rushing my time in Taylor, just keep doing assignments, everyday assignment and assignment. Maybe i'm not used to this kind of pressure suddenly, the big changes is totally become a pressure for me. 

Degree life is really totally big different with diploma. I can't sleep everyday, and I just force myself to sleep in the middle of the nights recently. Don't know who to find in the late night, don't who should I find in the midnight. I tried to call dear, but we just like made the things more even worst, for example argue.

What should I do when I sleepless in the middle of the nights? Can you all tell me? Although I just came back for 2 days, but its likes 2 weeks already, the time is walking but not running. No matter how busy I made myself, the time is hard to past.

A special feeling, when I was at Penang, I will feel happy and relax no matter how many assignments that i'm handling now. But when i'm at Subang, everything goes wrong, I don't have a clear mind, and hard to see my smile.

I'm getting bad, dear is starting her new college life right now, everyday morning class, that's mean he need to sleep early, but I know sometimes he just want to accompany me and don't want to sleep early. I feel so remorse, and I tried to lie him that i'm going to sleep, so that he will sleep too. However, it is not really work. I was sleepless at the night, but if dear is sleeping, then who should I talk to? 

One more bad thing, I fake my smile, so that dear won't see. It is hard for me, but at least he won't worry me. No matter what am I trying to do now is just not try to make dear worry about me. Because I know he will not happy if i'm not happy too.

Tell me what should I do now okay? I really out of ideas. I don't mind to feel suffer, as long as dear is happy now and ever. I'm his gf which always hurt him into the deepest.

I love my dear, this is a wellknown thing. I don't know what to do to make him feel better. Dear, tell me what should I do to make you feel better...

Tears dropping. I need someone to talk to, but there is no one else...

Night.

Hard Rock Hotel, Penang

Finally, here it comes, the Hard Rock Hotel in Penang, Malaysia. Suddenly, I feel that i'm so proud of Penang. Although I always do.

 I was visited Hard Rock Hotel for 3 times in my 1 week holiday, hahaha... 

Hard Rock Hotel is nice and has a beautiful view and designs. When I was there, I really felt that i'm in a relaxing holiday, enjoying my days with no pressure, and their services are so nice and friendly. This is how we called 6 stars hotel. Wow... And I love the hotel's pool the most...

Actually dear and me was going to celebrate our 2nd anniversary on last Saturday night at Hard Rock Cafe with friends ( although it was not the exact date, it should be 4th of Oct ), but who knows the cafe was full, and strictly not allowed for anyone which is under 21 years old.  Actually I should feel happy, because i'm still young. Hahaha...

But, It was really spoilt my mood.

Another day, I was going for movie with dear, Soon Hua and Irene again, for Tsunami movie, not bad but it was a bit boring for the 1st half of movie.

We headed to Hard Rock Hotel after movie, the pizza are so delicious. And we ordered 2 as well. Hahaha... Really can't full at all, although 1 pizza is for 4 persons. Hahahaha....

These photos were taken by my lousy handphone, look!!! There are so blur!!! I more prefer DSLR, my babie D 90. 

Penang is really full with funs, full with delicious food, I'm so proud of Penang. Penang is always a beautiful city for me, a lovely hometown for me too. 

Btw, do you all know my birthday is coming? Muahahaha... Just remind you, make sure my present is ready. Hahaha... No more special place for me to celebrate birthday anymore. I have been visited to almost all the happening places in Penang, where should I go then? Omg!!! Really OMG!!! 

However, I think my dear will think of it, no need mafan me, right dear? 

I need to off and do my assignment now, rushing time in Taylor all the time. 


Oh ya, I love my dear. XD




Bye.

' Se Bu De '

The holiday is finished. Back to reality, same case, cry heavily.

I started my way at 4 something, reached Subang at 7 something. On the way back, the day was getting dark and dark, I was so scared, same as now. Drove alone, I thought I can make it, but it shown that I can't in fact. 

I miss my dear, I miss his hug, I miss everything of him. I know he know, I just feel it. We cried before I left just now, this is the 2nd time that I saw dear cry. I feel remorse actually. We are so ' se bu de ' each other, we are going to end our holidays and i'm back to Subang. 

I'm trying to control my tears anytime from now, don't know why, tears dropped easily, i'm not crying, just the tears are dropping. Yea, I'm emo right now.

You all sure think that dear cried is a funny thing, but please don't laugh, this is how I know his feeling. Imagine that your boyfriend is crying in front of you when you are leaving, how do you feel? At the same time, you are so ' se bu de ' him, how are you really feel?

Thanks dear, you gave me wonderful holiday, my days were full with activities everyday. Remember what I told you when I was leaving? The promise, I know we will hold it tight. 

 

I miss you a lot dear, I know you know how I feel right now. 

My heart is pain, but I will listen to you, because it is all your efforts.

I love you dear.

Night.

Sorry

I'm wondering about will my life changes after 1 week? I think so. Everything is different.

I'm so regret, for everything.I know I made a wrong decision. This is a big mistake which I ever do. 

Sorry, for someone who I hurt. I really so regret now. I know you know what I mean.

It is not starting from now, just a period of time before, and I don't want to admit it. I just keep it in my heart.

I'm crying heavily, in my holiday. Suddenly, feel like want to go back to Subang, with tears dropping.

One word, Sorry...

Ipoh Wedding Dinner >>> 20092009

Today, the first day of Hari Raya, it is 20092009, wow!!! Great number. I just came back from Ipoh for a wedding dinner. This is my first time attending the Ipoh's wedding dinner, their culture is totally different with Penang.

I heard some of them said, Ipoh people must serve the liquor like Chivas, but not the beer. If you don't serve the guests those liquors, they will treat you as a poor family which don't have qualify to held a dinner. 

And, they are very on time to start the dinner, around 7.30pm, not like Penang lang, the dinner will start at 8 something at night. It is too late for dinner Penang langS!!! 

There are some dishes which serve by the hosts today, it is so delicious. Yummy...

There are pig, fish, chicken, vege, dessert, sticky rice, prawn and... All are big dishes. Taste good.

And, dear's mom is singing when we were eating. Sounds improve a lots. Add oil for her. XD

And the restaurant name is East Ocean. The hosts of today have reserved this dinner at 1 year before. It shown that their food is good.

Same thing, me and dear took photos while eating in the half way. Hahaha...

 

Is time for bed. I love my dear, I wish he loves me too. 

Night.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

Nicole is back in Penang right now AGAIN, hehe... Holiday for 1 week what, sure I will come back. 

So stim today, last night went to MOS with friends, slept less than 5 hours, and this morning suddenly my BCB lecturer announced for test, damn it!!! No choice, studied it for last minute. 

The whole Taylor's College is like rushing to go back hometown, everyone is rushing to go back after class, every car is full with luggages and people, as me too. I started to fetch Michelle at Damansara at 2pm, reached Sungai Long at 3 something, damn jam!!!

The whole journey from KL was jamming and raining. Everyone is likes going to celebrate Hari Raya, it seems like a big day for them. And I was the driver, tired tired. So now, finally home. Feel good. 

Let me rest first, continue tomorrow. 

Oh ya, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

Muackss

For you, my dad

Do ur relationship with your dad is good? Maybe you are, but most of the people will same with me, me and my dad relationship is too bad. 

Sometimes I really don't understand what are the parents thinking now. They did somethings which for us by their behalf, but they never think that it's whether really good for us or not. 

I never understand that why parents can't even understand what we are thinking about. As they said, I just know to blame them for everything. As i'm so far away with them right now, they don't even care or think about what I need here, just keep on giving me money, that's all.  

At the end, when i'm facing problems here, and I told them, they never think to help me or even give me a solution. The opposite, they scolded me that i'm blaming them for those non-sense. It there makes sence? 

I'm facing this problem with long time ago, and I can't get any solution to solve our relationship. I'm disappointed with dad, which he never listen to me even one word. 

And one more thing, he likes to say : " you come out with the same topic as your mom." I hate people say me like this. He is blaming my mom anyway, it shows that he is right, but not us. 

Everyone has to listen to him, even just a little problem. 

Dad, I don't think you really understand our feeling, you always say we don't know what we really want, but, do you know about what are you really want now? You are selfish, controlling all of us. 

 

And I wanted to go home, but you keep on saying that I back home to frequent. When I say I don't want go home, you will say that I don't care our family. Just one word, i'm so disappointed with you. 

 

I'm sad totally with your selfish attitude. I'm your daughter but not a product...

The worst thing

Something happened which made me so down right now, I can't even concentrate on my studies, don't ask me what happened on me, but it is serious, and make me sad to the bottom. The worst thing that I ever met.

I can't imagine what I would be after this, i try don't to think about it, just enjoy the days, but I really can't. My tears keep dropping, nothing can stop my tears right now.

I'm sad, i'm worry, this is the truth, I can't see any smile on my face. I try to be more optimistic, but it is can't work totally.

If you ask me what is the problem that i'm facing now, sorry, I really can't tell you even just a little info. This is the top secret which only can hide it in my heart. No matter who are you, it is a secret still.

If you want to help me, just find someways to make me happy, do something which can make me feel better. I really want to forget all those stupid things and enjoy my life.

Obviously, i'm sad to the bottom, down to the lowest now.I'm crying heavily, but there is no one here.

Good luck to me.

Bye.

Bad day

What a bad day today? Not Friday 13th, should be nothing happen what. But there is really something happened, WTH!!!

First, i'm sick. Gastric, headache, dizzy, for this whole day. After class at 12pm, headed to home and slept till 3 something, but now dizzy still. 

2nd, i'm home alone now. My housemates are going back to hometown for 2 weeks holiday, my roommate is having trial this week, so she moves to her friend's house for her convenient, they scare late to exam, because the exam is at 7am, crazy...I'm eating Mcd alone, sienzzz...

3rd, my lousy handphone is spoilt. I lost all the memory and the contacts in the phone, wth!!! The photos, the messages, all gone. I think is time to change for new handphone already. I just email to my dad, asking him to buy a new handphone for me when I go back this time, I know the percentage and chances is low, but no choice, i have to try still. Otherwise I really will Ki Siao with my stupid and lousy handphone. 

I wish my dad will get my a new handphone la, compliant for so many times, but he keeps saying about my handphone is still new, still functional. Aih... What should I say if he keeps talking about this? But, this time I really beh tahan already!!!! I need a new handphone, my dad!!!

I don't request for too much, at least Nokia E 71 can already. Dad, can you hear me?? I want this phone!!! The current one really spoilt already, trust me!!!

 

Leave me ever after

I'm having gastric right now, it is pain enough. This is not the first time that i'm having gastric, but this time is more serious, I vomit this morning just because of gastric. 

Now is pain also, no words to describe it. And my mood is bad now. I know everytime when something happened to make me emotional, then i will gastric later, included this time. 

I'm wondering why my gastric never get cure start from the first day i get it, it had been few years already, never recover at all. Even how much I controlled on my meals. Just one sentence, I used to it for long time ago.

My roommate is bought me dinner, but i'm paining, no appetite at all. It is pain no matter eat or don't eat. What should I do then? Anyway, i'm crying for it. 

Go away, stupid gastric!!! Leave me ever after!!!

Cheer for life

I'm back in Subang now. Again, not really want to come back actually. Although i'm going back to Penang again in this coming Friday. 

Yesterday, I went to take lunch with my family. Me and my little cousin took a lot of crazy photos in the car. Hahahaha...

I was wearing dear's spec with no glasses. Hahaha.... Both of us, acting in car. I know, we are crazy. Miss that time so much.

And, this is the second time already. The first time was at Autocity, when we bored till crazy in selling the ice-cream. Hahaha... Cheer for life...XD

That's all for today. Tomorrow will be better. 

Nitez

Not really Final Destination...

I went to watch Final Destination 4 3D last night with dear, Soon Hua and new friend Irene. However, the movie is not really nice compare to Final Destination 3.Btw, I love 3D. Before that, we have our dinner at DOME. Wheeee....

Blueberry Chess cake

 I want to tell you, there is no taste in this blueberry cheese cake, NOT NICE!!! And cost us RM 12. Suddenly feel that Secret Recipe's cheese cake is nicer, hahaha...

Mushroom Soup

It is so delicous, yummy yummy, sedapnya... The creamy soup full with mushroom slices and the bread cubes, taste good.

Pancake

Another favourite food, it is pancake, with strawberry. Looks nice and taste good too. 

Me with messy hair

Dear is drinking my SOUP!!!!!

Irene and Soon Hua

Our dessert, Ice-cream. Don't how to pronouce the name. Hehe... It is expensive, but its really tasty.

Look at this please....

 There is a big pewter mug which allocated in front of the Breeks Cafe in Gurney Place. It is from Royal Selangor, also the biggest mug in the world that recorded in Guinness Books of Records. Wowww... 

Another photo with Irene

Actually there is a photo shooting contest with the huge mug, but it must be creative, and can win a Olympus latest camera ~ Olympus PEN E-P1. Omg!!! Look at the photo, I don't think we can win the camera. Muahahaha....

But, if anyone is interested in this contest, don't forget the deadline is 30th September 2009. I'm waiting for the creative photos actually. Hehehe...

At last, I want to tell you something funny which happened in the cinema last night. I was like siao po, because too excited for my first 3D movie. Kept on touching the 3D effects, like something fall on me. Hahaha... 

The end.

xoxo

Happening * 2 ++??

I was came back to Penang few days before by MAS, it felt so different. Wowww... But my frens dropped me at KL sentral, and I have to take KLIA Express to KLIA, it cost me RM 35 one way, so expensive!!! But it really comfortable than any trains. Hehe...

 In the train.

My boarding pass ~ Ong Hooi Yeng...XD

This guy, which I pointing on, he so hamsap, keep looking at the air-stewardess. Geli...

And, no body is wearing a mask at airport, no matter KLIA or Penang Airport. I think Malaysians are not afraid of the H1N1. They thought that it is not serious enough. Luckily I did. Hehe...

Reached Penang at 10 something at night. The little plane was a bit scary, a aunty was screaming when the plane was landing. Hahaha... Actually was the aunty scared me. Muaahaha...

*************************************************************************

The second day, I had changed my hair style!!! I just want to cut my hair actually, but my cousin help me did it in other way. Not really can accept it.

And another one was, I went to play badminton with dear. OMG!!! Last time, I will never go with dear even I'm bored. But don't know why, I played this time. Felt nice, sweaty... But I get body-ache today... Oh ya... forget to tell you all. I was hurted last night when I was playing badminton. Look at my finger please...

Pain pain pain!!!

Finally I went to play with dear.

 

I really play one, look at my racket.

  

OMG!!! You saw my hair style already. I know it is hard to accept, I can understand.Sienzzzz... I did 2 things new in this trip. I love to try... XD

My friends jio me go MOS on Thursday night, means tonight. And another one go ZOUK on Saturday night. Walau, I'm not there okay?? Do Penang got MOS or ZOUK not? But as I knew, Penang just got MOIS, BIG different with MOS and ZOUK!!!

Oh ya... Say goodluck to me please, for my tomorrow exam. God bless me...

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Thank you. 

Nitezzzz