Another Nicole

I supposed to help my dad sunway today, but I was fainted on the way while working.

And, 3rd time for GMC. WTH!!!

This Nicole, no more!!!

This one, No more also!!!

This Nicole will do. Cry heavily every night. With messy hair and ugly face.

I wish to have some outing, like last time. Long time never enjoy the days. I need some fresh air.

Pain in my disease, as I said, i'm tired. And I know that it is getting serious day by day. Maybe my outlook will be like nothing, because i'm pretending all the time, to be more better and okay in front of you all. 

Seriously, Nicole is not okay at all. Nose bleeding, fainted, breathlessly. And alot of serious things, sorry dear, I didn't tell you, and I can't tell you. 


I wish to call ' DEAR ' loudly, can you hear me? I'm paining, suffering, do you know it? Sorry for my selfishness, I just want to spend more days with you. There are not so less thing that you should know, but you know I have not much time. Can you hear me? I'm crying heavily, do you know it?

I wish... to get a happy day, even really just the only day. 

I really have not much time.

Goodnight.

Sometimes I feel lifeless.

Nicole is back, she meant back from hospital.

Want to know what happened on me? I just can say it is a ' DUA DAI JI ' ( big problem ).

My face looked so chan, because 4 days never bath. I know it was busuk. 

My hands full with pinholes now. It is pain, everyday different treatments, different level of pain. I know it is serious. I cried at hospital every night, even now.

I'm so tired, I need a shoulder now. I have no confident and energy to face the disease. No more badminton, no more swimming, no more exercises!!! 

I'm so worry that there is no tomorrow for me. Who is by my side now? No one. 

Sorry, I quit. I really not afford to do these much of things anymore. It is not temporary, but permanent. Pls understand me, pls understand what I really want now. 

Rest is for further more, but I have no time for rest. I just want to do more things which I like and love. If you want to be more happy, pls give me what I want. I will really appreciate. 

I must keep walking to make all the dreams come true. I really don't want like the late him. You know what I mean.

Sometimes, it is really lifeless.

Goodnight

Goodbye

Thank you for concerns, but I will not update my blog temporary.

Because Nicole is hospitalized, with serious disease.

Goodbye everyone.

God bless you.

Goodluck everyone.

Love.

Smile or cry?

I was going to watch 2012 with dear yesterday. Honestly, the movie was really disappointed me. But, at least I can know how am I going to die in year 2012. It is really scary.

And, finally, I get my birthday cake for year 2009. Although it is late, but at least dear didn't break promise at last. 

A white forest.

A birthday had been sang again, I know it is touching.

Look at his face!!!

This photo will be better.

Btw, while I was so happy last night, I also get another pain, although it was happened in a few days before, and dear help me to enswathe my scalded wound.

And it looks so serious. Hahaha...

***********************************************************************************

This morning, I supposed to go and see doctor for medical check up. When I woke up, I was still in the happiness but everything is cancelled at last. Even my lunch.

And, I fell down from upstair while I was so dizzy just now attached with my chest pain hardly. What to do now? I really very angry right now, crying for my pain. But, who knows? Just wondering about why i'm facing so much of pain? And why the promises will not keep going on?

I hate argument, that's why I choose to quit, I rather sit at home with nothing. Maybe there is no lies, but it hurts me deeply again. 

Pizzaria Hard Rock Penang

I was thinking about what should I do on my Sunday. Finally, my dad gave me a 'kangtao'. He made a reservation at Hard Rock Hotel for dinner, but he missed it, ask me go and eat with dear. 

Wohoo..., that was a good idea. Actually so many things happen these few days, I really sad enough, keep crying, but who can understand my feeling? No matter what I do, I still can't change the consequences. 

I really feel bad enough, but no one is going to listen, and treat me something like enemy. What to do then? I just want to back to last time, the happy daysss...

Okay, okay, stop talking about the sadness. I went to dinner at Hard Rock Pizzaria with dear. Sunday night, this is what we can do. But dear seems like still got alot of assignment, not enjoy the food. Aih... don't know, maybe I think too much already.

The BBQ Buffet cost RM 55++ per person, the food is considered not bad, but damn it, rainning while we were eating in the half way. Nevermind, it was liked not really affect us.

We keep on enjoying the food.

This are some of our food, because of toooo full, then we give up for other delicious food. Let's talk about the environment, is it quite nice, seaside, with wind blowing, and some soft music, it is good for dinner as well.

We were enjoying our dinner, and kept taking photos as we always do it. 

Dear sien until almost eat the candle, wtf... so pity. T.T

Btw, before we left Hard Rock Hotel, we met 2 Germans. They are so nice and friendly. When we were taking dinner, both of them keep smilling on us, because me and dear were doing some stupid stuffs, maybe it made them feel funny. hahaha...

We went and say goodbye to them, since they are so nice. However, we have a talk for almost 15 mins, and seriously they are really nice. Wohoho... I got 2 more Germany's friends. Hahah...

We took photos and exchange the e-mail address, hope to keep in touch as well.

Tom, ShunJie(dear), Nicole(me), Martin

Martin is so so tall, and i'm the shortest one. Swt...

Anyway, it was a nice dinner. The service is nice, the food is nice also, especially the sausage, because dear love it, maybe he love it more than me. T.T

Is time to bed, goodnight.

I hope everything will be okay in the coming next morning.

God bless...

Unforgivable

My parent just came back from TianJin last night, there are a lot of souveniers from China, except me. I get 2 bottles of Absolute from KLIA. I think I should feel happy, at least I got it.

And, I was scalded by boiled oil last night, it is pain, even now. What a bad day? But, who cares?

Today, I get this from my dad.

Why I will get this? Because I told my dad I like this brand, Sean John Fragrances. My dad bought it because of he bought nothing for me from China. But why I like this brand? 

It is because someone told me about Sean John, and he is using it too. The fragrance name 'Unforgivable'...

Today, I get this, it is like a story behind, it is really unforgivable... Like fate...It is likes predestine... 

I do like this fragrance. However, it appeared in the inappropriate time...

It makes my tear dropping...